“Why We Do What We Do”

Hello Fam,

I am back! I have been under the weather a little but I am feeling a lot better. I am going to touch on a familiar subject “Why We Do What We Do.”

I sat and thought about a couple of things and talked to people in various cities and almost everyone is singing the same song. Where are the good genuine people? I must answer the question with: “Hell you tell me!” I am going to give you my thoughts on this subject.

The most important element of any relationship is trust. Trust is very tricky. The definition of it is 1 a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b: one in which confidence is placed. I don’t think people trust in anyone anymore and I believe a lot of relationships go sour because of this one simple element. Why is it that a person will ask you a question and you give them an honest answer and they still go behind your back to dig into your things to verify? Is it A: They don’t believe you and can’t trust you, B: You’ve done something in the past and it has them feeling paranoid or C: They can’t stand to hear the truth and would rather settle for a lie. My answer is C. I think most people don’t want to hear the truth. People can’t accept the truth because it’s too hard to deal with. Most men and women always say, “tell me the truth I can deal with it!” and most men and women are a lie. They can’t deal with it they dig and dig and look for something to dispute you and once they find something they waste no time throwing it in your face and it causes the other party to shut down and not ever tell the truth again.

I know most of my readers are going to say, “well if you were not doing anything in the first place you wouldn’t be in that position,” and I must agree, this is true. But everyone that is put on this earth is a human being first and falls into temptation and goes through things that others might not agree with. I blogged about men having certain things in their blood and several people didn’t agree, but if you have never experienced it then how would you know? If you’ve never walked in someone else’s shoes, how do you know their struggles in life? It’s our perception that everyone we date or deal with is perfect and a real person can’t ever be that. We as human beings have faults that have to be dealt with on a daily basis. I truly believe that most people who bitch and moan about things are the ones that are truly messing off or not giving their all to secure their position in a person’s heart. So the question posed is this: Why do we get into relationships and expect them to move like no problems will occur and once a problem does arise we get discouraged and want to break everything off? Why can’t we be friends before we become lovers so that we can understand the other person’s habits and truly make sure that this is what we want? Why can’t we love and know that love sometimes hurts but also know that there are limits to the hurt and we must recognize it? There is a difference in being in love and having a person’s back and being a fool and getting run over. We decide what is best for ourselves!

Men we are not exempt from anything. We are the main cause for women doing the things that they do. We go around acting like we’re GOD and can’t make any mistakes and once we do, we always want forgiveness, we praise the hell out of our women and always expect them to forgive, forget and just move on. STOP! Women hurt too. They have feelings and they deal with a whole lot of shit. There is a big difference between being having our backs and allowing our stupid Asses to run over them. I am not the exemption, either, I have made my share of mistakes but with those mistakes comes the responsibility to try to do better and be a man and not a child. Your woman is your not babysitter! If you want your woman to be your backbone then treat her like she is everything to you and if anyone or anything comes between you then dealt with it like grown folks. Learn to be honest and don’t put yourself in situations that will compromise that relationship. Be genuine. I believe there a lot of real men out here, we’re just struggling to find the ONE. Everything has elements: trust, love, loyalty and sex of course, (lol!) they are all important. Learn how to love and be real with yourself and I promise that everything that you set out to do will be fruitful.

I am going to end this now and I know I am going to have millions of comments please bring them on. You can also chat about it in the chat room today. I will be at the link below:
http://www.elegancetalentgroup.com/chat/index.php.


Thanks and I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. Be blessed and be careful.

Patrick Covington
The Great Thinker

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Understanding Relationships

Hello FAM sitting up late and thinking and thought I would drop a new blog to peak your interest.

Understanding Relationships came to mind and I sat and thought hard about this topic. Man this gut wrenching and wanted to make sure every woman felt this blog. I am going to give you some information that you can use or leave it is up to you.

First let me say this is not for the weak at heart and people who might take offense to the word of GOD. Being said that, I have cleared myself so let’s talk.

I think the biggest issue we have today in society is scarred women. Women who have been through things and have not gotten over their pain from past relationships and carry it over. I feel your pain and know it must really hurt to love someone and they tip out on you. I am going to say these few things and you might agree or not. A lot of men cheat because that has been the makeup of men over thousands of years, it has been in bloodlines. King Solomon is our prime example. Men were built to have multiple wives; the world did not get populated by only two people it takes months for a child to develop and there was a lot going on in those times. We as people are very sexual “Jesus knew that our psychological and sexual make up are such that it is impossible for the majority of us to go through life without a mate. The two strongest instincts that lie within humans are the desire to survive and a desire to express our sexuality. God gave us marriage as a legitimate means to express our sexual desires. God made us the way we are and there is no shame in marriage.” We don't respect the word back in the older days when it was ok to marry as many wives as you could deal with. The laws changed and we were only made to have one. I am not justifying that is right to cheat I am saying that it is the blood. Reading deeper I found that in

Matthew 19:9-12

It tells you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." (NIV) Keep those points in your head everyone is not going to be married some will follow there own rules and go there separate ways in life.

I think the very reason a lot of women are not married because they give too much up too quickly, no pace in the relationship, no time to be friends, no time to learn your partner and some women give up as soon as they start. Once you put a title meaning I am your man and you are my woman I think things begin to move downhill. That word commitment scares a lot of people I like this definition "the official act of consigning a person to confinement (as in a prison or mental hospital)" that is what commitment is. We feel trapped no room to move forward or backwards. In other words we are afraid of being locked down. I know a lot of women are saying well don't get into it but trust me you have got into it and try to find your way out or wonder what the hell have I gotten myself in.. SOME SHIT! So it is easy to get in but hard to get out especially when sex is involved because that can keep a relationship going. That is not healthy or meaningful but we all have done it once or twice. The next reason I think we cheat is because women tend not to be help mates. We don't have common goals anymore; we are just dating out of control there is no point to dating some people they have nothing to offer no goals, no dreams, nothing. We as people can't honor everyone that comes into our lives.
"Honor does have its limits. When we decide to honor another it is not granting them absolution from all their faults. It is a commitment to honor them in spite of their faults. There is only so far we can go to honor someone. God honors us but there is nothing in his Word that encourages us to live self-destructive lifestyles. When we choose to honor someone we can't honor the person to the point of dishonoring God."

How many people really understand what that is saying and follow that, some of us will go to hell and back with a nothing ass person and then wonder why our lives are so messed up. You lost focus and understanding for yourself and you lost love for who you were. Make sure you love yourself more than you ever love anyone else or you will always fall for things that have no value in life. Once you take that stand there is no one or nothing that can stand in your way.

I could go on and on but I am going to leave you with one more thing and this is the most important thing so if you have read through this entire blog you will truly be blessed. I heard my co-workers talking about if you marry someone make sure you know they are going to change; they will not always look like this. Whew man this blew my mind inside I was saying shit if I like how you look now and you gain 500 pounds my ass is not going to like you like I did. I understand we change body structure and so on. I can dig that but it is a difference between picking up a little weight and eating the entire house up. Don't work out, don't cook at home, eat snacks at work all day what do you expect to happen to you? Women and Men take care of your body work out and eat right. This is the main reason people break up and are not together anymore. Sometimes when you get that person you tend to get too comfortable and don't feel the need to take care of yourself like before.

Ooohhh one more point and I hate this one with a passion WOMEN DON'T START SOMETHING AND THEN STOP IT! If your man came over and you were dressed up and all sexy for him and teased him and made him feel all warm inside don't stop doing it that pisses the hell out of men. We don't want to come over your house and you in those big ass shirts, jogging pants, scarves, rollers, big ass panties. Hell you were sexy when you got us so keep it coming. Don't get mad and cut us off from what made us fall in love with you in the first place. When we go out we like to show our woman off so we want sexy. We like it when people look and say damn but your ass come out of the house with Army Fatigues, but when you go out with your girls your ass look like you trying to catch a new man. Give us what we want and more than some ass, play with our minds, make love to our souls and trust me you will have true relationship and always remember a couple that Prays Together Stays Together. God will not let you mess with some trash. Some people have purposes in your life to teach lessons but are not meant to be there for a lifetime; know when to let go and move on to the next calling.

Patrick C

Family/Friends & Business Don't Mix!!!

Guest Writer Damion W

If there is one thing I learned from a good friend when I started my business is that family and friends do not support you. To test this theory, he sent a link of his business to all he knew - very few responses. When he started another business, he asked a close friend to send out a message (about his business) and because his name didn’t appear or picture didn’t appear, he received more responses from the same contact list then before. Why is this? No answer can really be made unless we can not help our own succeed.

The assumption is that family and friends can’t see the next one close to them succeeding if they have not or even tried to pursue something as great. Yet, when they asked for something out of “your business” they expect it for free as if your association is a good enough payment. If you have a family or friend who has started a business, know that any request from you is incurring an expense on them. Regardless of how small the request is, time is money so whatever that person has to do to fulfill your request is taking away from them.

Business cost money. Regardless of what you see on t.v. or hear people say, Business Cost Money. Support Your Family/Friends In Whatever They are Doing That is Positive. And know that “support” comes in many ways other than saying “I can get you business” or “I know people who would buy if you do this”. People, THIS IS NOT SUPPORT!!! If you know of a cost-free way to help, then JUST DO IT!!! Why are you exchanging with your family/friends just to get a handout??? Support is Money, Coins, Dollars, Funds – the only way a business will grow. When you support someone’s business, you give money, your time, your expertise – not a d@mn statement of what you can do if you were wearing their product for free or if you were given free service.

Did you reason with Sean John, Polo, Timberland, Nine West, Nike, Jordan, Gucci, your accountant, your cellular service provider, your cable service, MLG&W??? When it came down to wearing one of these styles or obtaining these services, you paid. So quit treating your family and friends differently because with an attitude like this, they will NEVER make it if they have you for support.

Family and friends are also the reason why some are not in business or think they can’t make their small idea into something huge. Instead of talking about it, be about it. Quit offering negative advice and assumptions!!! If that person wants to sell paperclips, help them do that. Don’t tell them they can’t. I’m sure the people at Swingline and Post-It (just to name a few of the small office supplies you use) would laugh at you. Support your family and friends in whatever positive business venture they pursue. Buy their service. Buy their product. Quit asking for free sh!t!!! Give them something on the product or service even if its not the full price. Show them that you want to help. Quit asking for free products because it isn’t free for them to give it to you. Be a support not a crutch. They don’t need to lean on you for their own dreams. They just need to know that they can do it which is what is going to push them further and make it over the obstacles they will have to cross. Don’t become one of the obstacles they need to cross. Trust me when I say this – when they make it to the finish line and you were only an obstacle, you will be forgotten. I’m out.

Family/Friends & Business

Hello to everyone, I am back with a new topic that is going to make everyone say, “Wow, I got one of those in my family.”

Family/Friends & Business


One of the worse things you can do in your business or career is allow your friends or family to interfere. In business your family and friends always want something free, always looking for handouts like they are homeless or broke. They will suck you dry not even keeping in mind the expenses that you have to pay out to keep your company running. Friends feel you owe them something for being your friend. If you think the mix is good ask Reuben Studdard his people are suing him and B2K was in the same position of breaking up over family. Most people that mix the two have issues that lead to headaches. I can’t figure it out. I would think that if you know I was trying to grow as a company and be something in life you would support me with investments that can benefit the company. That is true love one that can see my dreams grow right before their eyes.

So friends and family support your people stop taking and begging, let the person offer you something don’t take from them. Ooohhh I almost forgot don’t you hate the people that steal from you and you know they did it because they stanking ass was the only one in your house or business at the time? Ooohhhhh that burns me up! Watch your people keep them close because those are the ones that will bankrupt you.

Last never, never, never let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve your goals or vision. Family and friends will discourage you and tell you that you can’t make it or you don’t have this and that. Keep your eyes on your goals and don’t let anyone take that away from you.