Baby Mommas and Not Wives

Patrick Covington is saying new question of the day. Why are there so many 'Baby Mommas' and not Wives? Now this is going to get me in trouble but I want to hear responses on this one.
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Tiffani BARBIE Harvell at 9:43am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
U sound like me pat!

Kenyada Racheal Townsel at 9:44am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
Because guys these days are so afraid of commitment, and females settle for just sex and most ppl rather not be in relationships especially when your getting all the benefits of a relationship without commiting. Y buy the cow when ur getting the milk for free??

Sharla Scurlock at 9:45am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
pls some men don't want to act right, or take on the responsibility. being a daddy is far from being a father. men sometime seem to be scared of being faithful or if they know what that word means!

James Davis at 9:48am May 6
WoW... U got me wanting to go and marry the mother of my child...lol.. Lord knows that I love her to death.. and i'm very thankful for her giving me my princess... I do ALL that I can for her.. because my philosophy is.. if she's hurting.. then my daughter is hurting... therefore I look at it from a broader perspective... she's my responsibility ... Read Moreuntil she's married... HOWEVER, Good topic Pat... That's definitely a good one... I honestly can't say that there's ONE thing or One reason.. I guess I'll wait to see the responses as well... cuz, this one got me... GOOD... Hmmmm.. (thinking)

Patrick Covington at 9:51am May 6
So before you lay down should you find out that before you get the feel good sex? I mean if you know you want this person to be a husband should you approach it like that off top. I hear more women shooting the men down when do you shoot yourself down. It takes two to make a child am I correct for saying that?

Stephanie Skyy DuVentre' at 10:00am May 6
we don't practice patience, we practice right now as if we're going to miss out on something , we puff up sex, my sex is this, my sex is that, we involve emotions to quickly, we care, we love , we need for the wrong reasons, I recently did a study, "what's the purpose of toys again", anyway everybody's in the fast lane some kind of way, we dont ... Read Moreknow what we want, we don't know what commitment means, we don't know what love is, is a relationship the same thing as a commitment, This world found another way to capitalize on "love", "if u like it, you should've put a ring on it", too much pride ... just say no sometimes, insecurities in ourselves in involving ourselves with the oppositie sex, trust issues, labeling what was just sex as everything else. This so called rap game, saying more than one chic is wuts up ... while their wives/ baby mama's sit @ home. They (Wives and Lovers) always tell another story on E True Hollywood ... We've all heard about K. Steffens but she aint da only 1.

Nakiyah PrimaDona Love at 10:02am May 6
well,to start...I'm forever tagged with that name because of my sons father..I was almost his wife.but, he cheated before our son was born and I had to end it..end of story....However, God has blessed me with the man of my dreams who 1 day WILL WIFE me and a beautiful baby boy so I have no complaints...My life is good;-)

Myke T. Newman at 10:04am May 6
Pat, I believe that's a valid question. If someone gets upset about that, maybe they should ask the question to themselves. Not saying we are all perfect, but brothers should take more responsibility in this matter and ladies also.

Britney QueenofRok Powers at 10:06am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
becuz it so easy to just lay up and make babies now days. i heard a man say he cant buy rubbers becuz of the recssn....smh. but we cant blame the men. some of these women out here wont WO-man up enuff to take care of bizz to make a man want to wife them. goes the other way around as well.

Erica Cainesha at 10:07am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
Well imma put it like this...most niggas(cuz they ain't men) can tlk a good game 4 so long n have u thinkin tht they want marriage, n some of them do but r afraid of commitment n whn u have a baby, most niggas bail cuz tht means ur stuck wit tht person 4 life {commited}. For example, my sperm donor n I were together 3 yrs b4 we had a child. We tlkd... Read More about gettin engaged whn I graduated from TSU n moved bck 2 memphis n we both wanted kids. I was on birth control n we used condoms but hey, shit happens cuz I still got pregnant. Whn he found out, we basically stopped tlkn n I haven't heard from or seen him since the day after my child was born. So its not tht women wanna b babymamas cuz some of us actually do take time 2 scope who we have sex wit, but u just got some triflin niggas out here who make us babymamas. ♥E. Nesha

Patrick Covington at 10:10am May 6
Nakiyah that is good.. Skyy people have to stop and think what do they want before they get into it. Everything that looks good has to be put through the test to see if it is really what it is for the long haul. I guess if I am going to nut in someone I better be thinking long haul. But I have to ask why let someone do you unprotected if you not looking for that ring and a lifetime commitment?

St Ian Christopher at 10:10am May 6
because most niggaz dont wear condoms and alot of females dont believe in abortions

James Davis at 10:12am May 6
wow.. with all that said... i guess it's a matter of what's important to you.. what your beliefs are.. what you value... etc...

Crystyle Princessasia Clark at 10:13am May 6
I AGREE ERICA. I FEEL ITS THE RESPONSIBILTIES....SOME MEN HATE BEEN TIED DOWN WITH ONE PERSON BECAUSE THEY FEEL THAT THEY ARE GOING TO MISS OUT ON SOME OTHER THINGS SUCH AS : OTHER WOMEN, SEX, & BUSINESS WISE IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ARE THERE MEN OUT THERE THAT CAN SAY THEY REALLY LOVE THEY GIRL OR WIFE ON FB, NO NOT MANY. ITS ALWAYS THE WOMAN SAYING I MISS MY BOO...I LOVE YOU BOO ETC. I JUST FEEL IT NEED TO GET BACK LIKE IT WAS IN THE EARLIER DAYS.....

Erica Cainesha at 10:14am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
Basically James!

St Ian Christopher at 10:14am May 6
how many niggaz u know goin around sayin i shouldve wore a rubber...too many

Shonda Sargent at 10:15am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
St Ian Christopher please tell me more. What does abortion have to do with this??

Carmen Davis at 10:18am May 6
Well, Im not going to blame it all on the men and their lack of commitment because women need to be just as responsible...many women feel the need to have babies thinking it will keep a man – NOT! Although it takes a man and woman to get pregnant, sometimes we are very careless and “caught up in the moments... Read More” but in knowing the possibilities of getting pregnant, we need to assure ourselves that we make better preparations. We as woman compromise so much of ourselves to be with someone even when that person has presented poor behavior towards us. When a man is not displaying the characteristics of a ‘real man’ then it’s obvious he is not going to be the best father, so why even feel the need to get pregnant by this man.

Carmen Davis at 10:18am May 6
I think it... Read More’s a combination of several things but one problem is that in our culture, we think “baby mama’s and baby daddy’s” is cute when it’s not. We are damaging so many children by bringing them into unstable environments. Men and Women both need to take responsibility when it comes to unwanted pregnancies. Men need to rap it up – I don’t care if she is the only one you claim you sleep raw with, if you are not ready for a baby, you better protect yourself. Women need to realize that a baby is not going to keep a man around and if she doesn’t want to have a baby by this person, then she needs to better protect herself. Until we can become responsible individuals, we are going to continue to have babies out of wedlock.

St Ian Christopher at 10:19am May 6
ok i might have went over board with the abortion thing but if you 're not married to a mf...y r u not using some form of birth control?

Patrick Covington at 10:21am May 6
I agree with a lot of you.. But ask yourself this is it your kitty he doing? Don... Read More’t you control what goes in it? If you not married don't being doing it without that paper to back it up. My mother is a single parent my pops walked off but my moms didn't bring ten other dudes around me to make up for what my pops did. I remember two guys that took care of me and taught me a lot. Most women bring hundreds of men around their kids and that shit is foul. Just because your sperm donor leaves don't mean you can't get married and start a family. You have options people today just have excuses. Keep your legs closed no matter how much game they got you control things with the kitty!

Erica Cainesha at 10:22am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
I agree crystyle!! I said that all the time...things used 2 b so different bck n the days. Its too many niggas tryna play games and not enough bein truthful about stuff. Its like they afraid 2 express how they feel 2 the world whn it comes 2 somebody they feelin or they girlfriend as if they gon look soft n front of the boys...but there r MEN who don't mind sayin all across fb, myspace, twitter, n any other site how much they love n appreciate their better halfs!

Crystyle Princessasia Clark at 10:26am May 6
You right on this last one st ian....BUT SOME PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN COMFOTABLE IN THE RELATIONSHIP AT LEAST 3 YEARS AND HAVE DECIDED NOT TO US BIRTHCONTROL BECAUSE THERE IS SOME KINDA OF TRUST THEN....BUT WHEN THEY START ASKING ITS TIME THAT WE WEAR CONDOMNS THEY FEEL THAT THERE IS SOME CHEATING GOING ON. ITS A FORM OF PROTECTION GUYS......THESE ARE JUST DECISIONS THAT BOTH PARTIES MAKE...

St Ian Christopher at 10:26am May 6
but its 10 times more females than men...so its more females playin games than men...

Patrick Covington at 10:27am May 6
If you love someone there should be no limits to how you express it.. But people need to start to scan their mates better. Look at long term

Myke T. Newman at 10:29am May 6
People lets not lose focus here. We have a responsibility to each other. Ladies, if a brother is not willing to be with you in marriage kick him to the curb and vice verse, because believe it or not there are some guys out there that want to do the right thing, but some ladies have a different agenda. We can go all day pointing fingers, but the issue still continues to grow. Why?

Aieshia Dickey at 10:29am May 6
Not enough "Real Men" only sperm donors..Cant turn a Rolling Stone into a HUSBAND!! KEEP IT MOVING SIR!!

Erica Cainesha at 10:30am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
I agree Pat...thts why I dnt bring any other dudes around my lil girl because I dnt want her growin up confused cuz ppl r in and out of her life. I may date ppl but there has only been 1 guy who has actually met my daughter.

Vicskeyas Faith Moore at 10:30am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
Pat it all comes down to this. . . standards, we women are lowering our standards and accepting what the brothers are bringing to the table instead of setting the standards on the front end. Case in point, a few years ago, I was in a relationship and was deeply in love with this man. . . so I decided that instead of following the guy's lead, I ... Read Moredecided I would not sleep with him until I felt like I was ready or we were marrried. It was going fine until problems started taking place. . . so instead of sticking with the standard I set. . . I ended up sleeping with him. I feel like his interest died down after that.. . and that we probably would have gotten marrried if things had gone differently. See instead of staying true to ourselves, we think that if we change for the man, he will stay but most times that just isn't the case. The respect leaves ad they are on to the next.

St Ian Christopher at 10:32am May 6
is it trust or a lack of giving a fuck?

Patrick Covington at 10:42am May 6
I AM GOING TO BREAK THIS DOWN FOR ALL WOMEN. UPFRONT EXCUSE MY MOUTH FOR SAYING THIS. BUT MEN ARE NOT THE BLAME WOMEN CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF THE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IF YOU KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED A MAN WOULD BE IN THE BATHROOM JACKING OFF! YOU ARE SO QUICK TO GIVE UP THE ASS AND SET NO STANDARDS OR LIMITS TO HOW YOU WANT THINGS TO GO. WOMEN FORGOT ... Read MoreHOW TO MAKE A MAN CHASE YOU FOR ASS AND WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU AND NOT YOUR SEX. THEN SOME OF YOU DO THREESOMES, FOURSOMES, ANAL AND ALL BEFORE GETTING MARRIED THEN GET KNOCKED UP AND WONDER WHY HE LEAVING. SHIT HE HAS DONE ALL HE CAN DO TO YOU WHAT IS LEFT? NOT JACK SHIT. START MAKING A MAN WORK FOR YOUR HEART AND LOVE STOP BEING SO FUC*ING HEAD OVER HEELS FOR EVERY MAN YOU MEET. SAVE YOUR STUFF AND MAKE THAT MAN CUT YOUR DAMN YARD, CLEAN YOUR HOUSE, COOK AND MORE HELL. WITHOUT YOU WE ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A MAN WITH BLUE BALLS.

Jerrica MsFab Williams at 10:43am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
hmmm.... ok im going to speak from the pregnant ladys point of view lol. Yes it does take two to make a child so im not going to bash anyone. but sometimes a couple may not be ready for marriage andi don't think you should get married just because u have a child together! i person don't know what the future holds but i won't be having another child until im married cuz i want my child to have more than i have growing up... my parents aren't married....

Myke T. Newman at 10:43am May 6
A man only changes, when he wants change, not when the issue is forced. This is how many women make their mistake. The unfortunate thing is many of them never learn from this and continue to feed the cycle. Now Brothers, on the other hand, need to understand that there is more to these ladies than the race to lay them.

Kymberlee Mostalkedabout Turner at 10:50am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
Well me personally I'm jus not in a rush 2 get married..I've ben wit my child's father for 6yrs now n we've had sum problems but we've overcome a lot.... I'm only 23 n tho I feel I'm mature 4 my age I still think I have more growin up 2 do as well as he does b4 we can fully take dat step!!!! I juz feel like when its our time 4 marriage God will bless us wit the opportunity 2 become husband n wife=)

Eboni Elexis Reece at 10:51am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
I don`t believe its fair to blame it solely on the men. The responsibility also lies within the women. If women allow themselves to become the "baby mama" then they are selling themselves short. I refuse to be just a baby mama & therefore I conduct myself in a manner in which to not put myself in that position. I don`t want to force a man to be ... Read Morefaced with the reality that I will be the mother of his child. I would like a man to choose me to be his wife, to be with him eternally first. And then to jointly decide when we, as husband & wife, are ready to start a family & have children. The greatest compliment is to have a man see you as the woman who will bear their child. :]

Renaye Bond-Smith at 11:01am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
some men love to have the cow all the while hes gettin the milk for free. when a woman knows her worth and what great qualities they have, then they wont settle for anything other than a husband. most men are afraid of commitment but not afraid to have unprotectd sex when in turn the outcome could be worse than a damn baby momma...it could be aids!

Vicskeyas Faith Moore at 11:01am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
and yes marriage is a big step, so yes everyone involved should be ready, but if you are not ready for marriage, don't play house.

Myke T. Newman at 11:13am May 6
Okay, Let's take the baby element out for a second. One young lady on here stated she has been with the same guy for six years and stated that they are not ready to be married. I will try to put this in perspective. See, know one is ever ready for marriage. It is a sacrificial choice between a man and woman with a covenant before God. Yes, there ... Read Morewill be problems, I know some folks that have anywhere between 1yr to 48yrs and are still having issues, but they have the courage to endure through their faith and stick with the challenges every waking moment. See, the thing is no one is the same as they were yesterday. I've been married for a year and half now and it is brand new everyday because we are both learning. That's what it is about continuous education of one another. It's not about let's have baby and see how it works. Before I got married I dated her for three years and we don't have any kids. So, it was not the case of I marring her because we have child together.

St Ian Christopher at 11:15am May 6
l;mao...i actually preferr jacking off to be honest...its nobody to call back afterwards and less u gotta spend on dinner...

Vicskeyas Faith Moore at 11:25am May 6 via Facebook Mobile
Lol St. Chris. . . I totally agree Myke. . . and Pat what happened to the show you were putting together, this would have been a great topic

Marnina Stewart at 11:28am May 6
wow...im late! I told u it would be a good topic :-)

Marnina Stewart at 11:53am May 6
Patrick Covington at 10:42am May 6....BUT MEN ARE NOT THE BLAME WOMEN CONTROL EVERY ASPECT....(put it on the sheets)Am I the only one that has heard of 'quickdraw' method? Women can't control that, only that Man! So the finger can be point back and foward and in every direction! So many to read but (i maybe wrong) I dont see where to many people ... Read Moretalk about a planned ... Read Morepregnancy, only about being in a relationship for so many years...ok it was just the two of yall?! what will happen if a third person(baby) is involved? How would this reflect our relationship? Is our relationship really that strong to "REALLY" be with each other for decades to come? And no marriage may not be for everYone

Vicskeyas Faith Moore at 12:09pm May 6 via Facebook Mobile
But before you get to the point of quick draw. . . you have to ask yourself first if it is even worth it to lay it down or even if you are going to lay it down, why arent you using protection. . . I watch a man put on a condom. . .

Patrick Covington at 12:11pm May 6
So when does the blame every go to the woman? Do you control what goes in? Cant you tell the guy to put a condom on? Next stop saying a man is not faithful or don't want this and that ask yourself why you staying there dealing with it and better yet why are you opening your legs to him if you see he is not going to give you what you want and need. Stop trying to make a boy into a man and find a man that has left eh boy stages. We all need to up our standards. Read what I wrote in CAPS on up.

Vicskeyas Faith Moore at 12:17pm May 6 via Facebook Mobile
here, here. . . and Pat did you ever get the talk show going. . . cause your topics are outstanding.

Patrick Covington at 12:22pm May 6
I am working hard on it.. I had one conflict they wanted to charge ppl to call in and I was not down for that.. I got this topic from one of my people she said this would pop and I agree.

Marnina Stewart at 12:30pm May 6
That comment is for people in general who dont use condoms...and the men. (a lil graphic- yeah, sex can be good, but u should be able to tell what time it is...even wit a condom on...finish it in the air...youll be ok)Of course its never a woman's fault she gets pregnant?! NO, NEVER SAYING THAT. I read what you responsed but...I kno what I do ... Read Moreand dont before getting myself involved wit someone. Not everybody thinks about what will happen in the long run...I know someone who gota girl pregnant like 1 month after meeting. The baby is now 3...they are just now setting a date. But for some reason she expected him to WIFE her the first year?! He didnt know you and you didnt know him...Therefor sometimes u stuck wit a person just cause u didnt take the time out to...what...get to know, date, talk to family, talk about past relationships to get a feel of what type of person you are dealing with.

Vicskeyas Faith Moore at 12:30pm May 6 via Facebook Mobile
totally, well once you get it together, I would like to lay be involved. . . . I am not really confident enough to be a model but I can host, help with marketing or something. . .

Marnina Stewart at 12:39pm May 6
:D

Stacey Christ'sButterfly Lowe at 9:17pm May 6
yeah you got my attention on this one...I think that there are MORE "baby mommas" than wives, because women think being "baby momma" will turn then into wife. the mentality that he will fall in love with this good Sex, is killing the value of a woman. Living by the word of GOD would keep all that confusion down, no sex before marriage and you CANT... Read More be a "baby momma" before wifey! Im not glorifing myself, just being real, but me and my fiance HAVE NOT had sex yet, and I am his ONE and ONLY. Ill be wife first, the MOMMA of ALL HIS BABIES!!! BUT only Through the Word, of GOD!

Tiffany Jones at 11:14pm May 6
I'm gonna play devil's advocate here and spin it, I know I'm late but....it's not the men ladies. This is our body and we decide to give these guys children. Therefore, it is up to us to wait until marriage or not. Yes, there are men out there who don't take care of responsibilities and don't do right. But a man will only do what you allow him to. ... Read MoreWe don't hold these men accountable for their actions and then get mad when they don't marry us after we have their babies. Let's be real about it. I know some won't like what I said. But everyone wants to point the finger at these guys when we need to realize we have 3 pointing back at us. We don't set the standard so we don't get the results. We need to take back our respect and make these men earn us. Doesn't the Bible say HE who finds a WIFE finds a good thing?